In the great year of 1978, women were freed from their bloody bondage by the invention of a simple wax…

You were scraped out of my mind 3 yrs and 2 months ago.

Dear Stinkbug, I do not appreciate coming home to find you on my toothbrush. Since you touched it, I am…

Day 1: I woke up this morning to the sound of birds pecking inside of my walls, which was creepy,…

Go pack your cavities with sugar.

Don’t lie to kids or withhold the truth from them. Most little kids are smarter than you give them credit…

On Oct 18, 2011 dozens of wild and dangerous animals were let loose from a private zoo in Zanesville, OH.

Around midnight on April 25th, a 32 year old man ran into a police station in his underwear asking for…

I just want to say thanks to the drunken asshole, walking down the middle of the road at night wearing…

EMToast contributor Toe Fu has taken on an ambitious photo project for video game shirt company Meat Bun. He's got…

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life ... Never make a pretty woman your wife ...

i had a dream about satan and some cave that had an outcropping in it that was carved to look…

Facebook sentiment of the year.

A new study conducted by Station Park Cancer Hospital has shown that between the years 1973 and 2010 ninety-nine percent…

See what our customers have to say: Horse Vestors Understood My Unique Situation "...HorseVestors seemed to understand my unique situation.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Randall Stott NEW ‘BLEEP YOUR BOSS’ REALITY SHOW HITS CLACKAMAS, OREGON Clackamas, OR - EMToast Entertainment…

Comes a time in a man’s life when he’s got to decide. Alligator or crocodile? Which will I be? I…

These were the final miles of a summer journey.  The four passengers consisted of the driver, the girlfriend,  the sister,…

I’m 97 years old, and I never heard of cancer until I was 12 years old.  My neighbor fell down…

Find and circle all the famous authors that are hidden on the grid below. Click to enlarge. Don’t blow out…

The green revolution is upon us with everything from recycling, reusing, up-cycling and re-purposing. It’s all about what’s old is…

I took my love to a gazebo. We drove past the gazebo. There were no giraffes by this gazebo. photo…

It’s Friday night and the Dandelions are ready to hit the clubs. It’s just past 12 so all the cool…

How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If…

A local restaurant faxed their lunch menu to the office of a friend with an unusual lunch special– Rip Rourin…

My son has a corn tooth.  That boy loves to eat it right off the cob like a little typewriter.

Easter bunny get up this morning and he want hims meat.  Them childrens was runnin all around up and down…

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the eyes you are looking into have…

Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? The dictionary definition of…

The dolphin left his cave in search of human prey.  Only the moon watched.

Ever taken a psychology class? I took one as a night class at a community college years ago. The professor…

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a…

By: jake.auzzie Just when you thought “Biever Fever” was over, Justin Bieber has decided that tampons and maxi-pads should be…

I emerged this morning from the frost covered cardboard refrigerator box that I now call home. With my first steps…

A man once asked me what is the difference between a city and a town?  A city is bigger I…

James Vanderbiek claims he has discovered the reset button for the human soul, and it’s not what you think. Most…

Department store Santa’s are known to victimize and terrorize children and adults alike. The classic image of a child crying…

Pocahontis 2010 with her free Shop Rite turkey.  The 2nd Thanksgiving.  Pilgrims vs Native Americans.

Don’t smoke no more.  You gotta get your shits together.

Today I met a robot. He has a gun. He shoots the gun, but not at me. He won’t break…

It’s a worldwide epidemic.

Buying puppies from the petstore is wrong. You’ve got to just let them die. Buying them supports puppy mills. Don’t…

Artists rendering of  the unreleased final scene from Apocalypse Now where a Zombie Marlon Brando eats a unicorn who simultaneously…

Evolution, the mysterious force responsible for transforming us from happy-go-lucky banana peeling tree climbers into misery infected cubicle crawling keyboard…

HALLOWEEN WISHES FROM CATS THAT SPRAY SOUR EAR BLOOD FROM THEIR MOUTHS. MAY ALL YOUR CANDY BE  FULL SIZE AND…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting to friends that she “thinks she is having a robot baby.”…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting that she "made out with a monkey." Audio Transcript: "I like…