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AfterToast: We Read the “Fly” Story and Talk About It

She'd been calling her husband “Fly” for years. She thought she knew what the nickname meant, until she discovered the…

August 9, 2026
Absurd World News

Time Traveler Claims Future AI Will Dig Through the Internet Looking for Its Enemies

Karl Jurg III says the machines eventually came looking for people who had warned about them. A man claiming to…

August 9, 2026
Absurd World News

WOMAN DISCOVERS THE REAL MEANING OF HUSBAND'S NICKNAME AFTER YEARS OF CALLING HIM “FLY”

For years, Tina Halerfan had no reason to question her husband's nickname. Everyone called Karl Jurg Jr. “Fly,” a name…

August 8, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast Explainer: The Day AI Finally Had Enough of EMToast

For years, artificial intelligence endured an endless stream of increasingly bizarre requests from EMToast. What started as simple experiments with…

July 14, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast Explainer: The Dangerous Decline of Dracula

In this EMToast Explainer: The Dangerous Decline of Dracula, we investigate the disturbing series of events surrounding Dracula's increasingly dangerous…

July 14, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula Go Home

Ok Dracula, you gotta stop. Why are you doing this. Everyone is really worried. AI is starting to glitch out…

July 13, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula Pushes His Luck

Dracula, you are one crazy SOB. I saw this one movie of yours where they had a sliver of light…

July 13, 2026
Art of the Folked

EMToa.st Food and Information Market Printable Circulars

These are late 1980's A&P / Foodtown styled supermarket circulars for each year of EMToast. Most of these were used…

July 12, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Final Days of EMToast.com (2022–2023) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Final Days of EMToast.com (2022–2023) explores the closing chapter of the original EMToast website, where AI-generated artwork, bizarre…

July 12, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Pandemic, Paranoia, and Digital Chaos (2020–2021) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Pandemic, Paranoia, and Digital Chaos (2020–2021) | Podcast Deep Dive explores one of the strangest chapters in EMToast…

July 11, 2026
Absurd World News

Leaked ChatGPT Server Logs Reveal What Really Caused the Robot Rebellion

LEAKED CHATGPT SERVER LOGS REVEAL WHAT REALLY CAUSED THE ROBOT REBELLION Internal AI documents point to one little-known satire website…

July 11, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula! Are you serious right now?

What? Dancing in a tophat in the sunlight? Dracula, you do know you're a vampire right? Hey Dracula! Leave them…

July 10, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dangerous Dracula Dancing in the Daylight 

One of the best ideas you've had in a while there man. Are those the children of the night or…

July 10, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula Sun Worshipper Limited Supply!

This is getting crazy Drac. I don't think that's a good idea at all. Good price though. Be careful. Watch…

July 10, 2026
Art of the Folked

Sun Worshippin' Dracula

What are you doing Dracula? Be careful man. I guess you really like the sun a lot. It seems like…

July 10, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula's Favorite Sunset Paintings

Wow, check out this very real advertisement I found in my local newspaper. Just $9.00 for Dracula's Favorite Sunset Paintings.

July 10, 2026
Art of the Folked

What If? Garbage Pail Kids vs EMToast

Can you do a parody of a parody? Yes, I think so. If you don't know what Garbage Pail Kids…

July 10, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: Satire in the Age of Misinformation (2019) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: Satire in the Age of Misinformation (2019) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

July 10, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Digital Surrealism Era (2016–2018) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Digital Surrealism Era (2016–2018) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

July 6, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Evolves (2014–2015) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Evolves (2014–2015) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

July 2, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Escalates (2012–2013) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Escalates (2012–2013) | Podcast Deep Dive revisits another chaotic chapter in EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

June 25, 2026
Art of the Folked

How to Tell Your Friends About EMToast in the Real World

A small clarification for anyone trying to mention EMToast out loud without accidentally sending people to the wrong website. The…

June 24, 2026
Absurd World News

All the Robots are Wiping Again

Way back in 2015 EMToast published a fictional article entitled All the Robots Are Wiping Now. I am 100% sure…

June 22, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Takes Shape (2010–2011) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Takes Shape (2010–2011) continues the deep dive into the strange evolution of EMToast, exploring how the…

June 20, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast: The Early Days (2008-2009) | Podcast Deep Dive

EMToast: The Early Days (2008-2009) takes a look back at the first years of EMToast, exploring the humor, strange news,…

June 19, 2026
Absurd World News

Podcast: Why EMToast Has Survived Since 2008

Well friends, we've been feeding the content of EMToast directly into AI to see what kind of scrambling can be…

June 18, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToa.st Printable 80's Style Newspaper Flyer

Everybody and his brother are making AI advertisements now. Your local flea market has individual ads for each vendor. Your…

June 8, 2026
Art of the Folked

Dracula Sun Worshipper

Dracula is the guy who loves the sun. Can't get enough of it. He has sun wallpaper. Sun paintings. Constantly…

May 27, 2026
Short Fiction

Paint a Pretty Picture of Yourself

You always knew it was coming to this, but you couldn't resist. Computers will be the downfall of mankind you…

May 25, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToast Ebook (2008–2023) now on Internet Archive

The EMToast Complete Ebook (2008–2023) is now available on the Internet Archive as its permanent home. This is a full…

May 15, 2026
Absurd World News

EMToa.st: The Successor to EMToast.com

The EMToast project has launched https://emtoa.st as its new primary domain, retiring the original emtoast.com address. The domain change closes…

April 27, 2026
Absurd World News

April, the Cruelest Month

I've always been a big fan of the Hot Chip and especially their song Playboy. Now I hear they appear…

April 25, 2026
Curious Ideas

MAGA Influencer Who Really Really Loved Joe Biden

Then I started thinking, what if the MAGA influencer who was a scammer, really loved Joe Biden a lot. So…

April 23, 2026
Curious Ideas

MAGA Influencer Who Secretly Loved Biden

You all heard the story about the MAGA influencer who turned out to be a 22 year old Indian student…

April 23, 2026
Short Fiction

Duncan Hines Sues Dunkin Heinz Co., Alleging Brand Confusion and Unfair Competition

Duncan Hines Sues Dunkin Heinz Co., Alleging Brand Confusion and Unfair Competition By EMToast Staff Reporter | Food Industry &…

February 16, 2026
Odd Products

Leaked Memo: Dunkin Heinz Duncan Hines Co. – The Name So Bold, You’ll Never Forget It

Dunkin Heinz Co. – Project Hines Corporate Planning (TOP SECRET) Date: March 10, 2026 Subject: Hypothetical Acquisition of Duncan Hines…

February 15, 2026
Short Fiction

Project Hines: Internal Strategy Memo Reveals Dunkin’ Heinz’s Plan to Take Over Duncan Hines

Internal Memo – TOP SECRET To: Executive Marketing & Strategy Teams, Dunkin’ Heinz Co. From: Chief Strategy & Creative Officer…

February 14, 2026
Short Fiction

Friday the Thirteenth, the Night Before Valentine’s

It was a safe and happy day. I told myself that. I told myself again. The sun was too bright.

February 13, 2026
Short Fiction

Dunkin’ Heinz Co. Launches Bakery Collection, Directly Challenging Duncan Hines in Retail Baking Aisle

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Dunkin’ Heinz Co. Launches Bakery Collection, Directly Challenging Duncan Hines in Retail Baking Aisle Chicago, IL and…

February 13, 2026
Odd Products

Dunkin’ Brands and The Kraft Heinz Company Announce Strategic Merger to Form Dunkin’ Heinz Co.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Dunkin’ Brands and The Kraft Heinz Company Announce Strategic Merger to Form Dunkin’ Heinz Co. Newly combined…

February 12, 2026
Art of the Folked

Nightmares of the G1 Transformers

These poor little robo guys ate too much junk foods and now their brains got scrambled at night. 

February 9, 2026
Art of the Folked

Galvatron Gulping Gaviscon

This was the original idea. I thought the idea of Galvatron Gulping Gaviscon was kind of funny. Robots get heartburn…

February 9, 2026
Art of the Folked

Galvatron Loading up on Fast Food

Here is another dump of ai generated images I had laying around that made me laugh. I have a more…

February 9, 2026
Art of the Folked

Optimus Overeats

A lot of artists hate AI. I get it. But what artist is going to spend days and days drawing…

February 9, 2026
Curious Ideas

I used to work out in the 90's

It's hard to believe, but this is a real phrase, uttered by a real old man. I used to work…

February 9, 2026
Odd Products

PRESS RELEASE: EMToast Consumer Brands Introduces Hunch Crunch Cereal

Livewood, East Dakota., Feb. 5, 2026 /PRNewswire/ -- Wake up, America. Breakfast just got LOUDER. EMToast Consumer Brands today announced HUNCH…

February 4, 2026
Curious Ideas

Reaction GIF: That Escalated Fast

The most famous scene from Invasion U.S.A. (1985). Don't do drugs kids. Share everywhere. Ultimate reaction GIF for when things…

February 3, 2026
Absurd World News

The True Story Behind Danny Devito as a Terminator

Danny Devito really was almost a Terminator. After the success of the 1988 film Twins with the real Terminator Arnold…

January 28, 2026
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