Fell asleep at the beach and some kids drew on my face with chalk or something.

A black cat once told he me loves honey. When I asked "why?" he told me he wanted something babies…

This tricycle is kind of weird.

The way we're acting lately, probably a lot less. Enjoy your miserable remaining years.

Cut myself shaving again. 5 blades is just too many.

When I was a boy the calming motions of a red lava lamp put me to sleep. This one looks…

What kind of creature has all these spiked coming out of them? Were they always there or caused by some…

I guess it really is an electric fence. Just wanted to go out to catch some snail.

What's the difference anyway? Can barely tell.

Trying to get into the fall spirit.

This is my cute face. Tell me I'm cute! My emotion providing service denied my request to feel cute.

I am dressing up as the Hulk for Halloween this year. Doc gave me some extra muscles.

Only in dreams.

Doctor, I think this eye is defective. I was just looking at my phone and now there's veins all over.

You know what slang phrase I dislike? When they say "it's just built different". You imbeciles know nothing about being…

What year is it? By the time you read this, channels may no longer be a thing.

They say I'm the monster, but who created this freakshow anyway? Wasn't me.

I don't know doctor. I just don't feel right lately. It's this hazy kind of bored feeling.

Why do people find me intimidating? I'm a pretty nice guy.

Coming soon to a store near you.

I'm starting to think this doctor guy doesn't really know what he's doing here.

This event is happening in our local area. Begin painting toasts on all of our local area streets and you…

I feel like I'm cracking up.

A time will come when your sins will finally catch up to you. Only you know what you've done, and…

Yeah. I don't need to read the book or watch the movie. I looked at the pictures and got the…