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Absurd World News

Sneezing Thief Needs Claritin-D

A man suspected someone broke into his house and called the police. The police showed up and searched the whole…

November 21, 2008
Absurd World News

Thanksgiving Day Blessing Madlibs

photo credit: eye of einstein Coming up with an appropriate blessing for your Thanksgiving day feast can be difficult. This…

November 19, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the week of November 16th

ARIES- The alignment of the planets suggests you might be thinking of making your crush a token of affection from…

November 19, 2008
Absurd World News

Angry Women Chase Half-Nude Attacker Down City Streets

Two girls were sitting outside chatting.  This guy walked funny passing them and they didn't think too much of it. …

November 18, 2008
Absurd World News

Tiny Guns: America's Newest Obsession

With building security tightening nationwide, gun enthusiasts and criminals alike have found a novel way around pat downs and metal…

November 10, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes For The Week of November 2nd

ARIES: This is your week to shine dear Aries. Put people in their places and let them know who is…

November 3, 2008
Absurd World News

Creepy Sightings - The Simian Swarm

Study the little creep's face on the carton and see if you can find him before he finds you where…

October 31, 2008
Curious Ideas

How to Convert an Old Weedwacker Into a Flamethrower

Step 1: Get an old electric weedwacker. (Preferably one your Dad finds for you on the garbage.) Step 2: Plug…

October 26, 2008
Absurd World News

Toe Fu Interviews Chiptunes Artist 8-Bit Weapon

Go check out Toe Fu's interview with chiptune artist 8-Bit Weapon over at the-minusworld.com Plug In, Turn On, Blip Out:…

October 25, 2008
Absurd World News

Bigfoot Sighting: Sasquatch Army Rises From Water, Attacks Maryland

Talbot County MD: Hundreds of witnesses have reported an army of subterranean creatures rising from the Chesapeake Bay. Green glowing…

October 24, 2008
Absurd World News

Literature for N3rds

Street Fighter Tribute I've had alot of obsessions in my day. Comics, records, pizza, mid 90's porn, rare sneakers (worst…

October 21, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of October 19th

Capricorn- Remember it is better to kick someone in the back than to punch him or her in the face.

October 19, 2008
Absurd World News

Creepy Sightings

Find him before he finds you! Where's Creepy? Dare to find out. Study the missing creep on the milk carton…

October 18, 2008
Absurd World News

Strange Currency Discovered In Pennsylvania

Intercourse,PA October 15, 2008 Fritz Jacobs,owner of Jacob’s Country Market, made a puzzling discovery after investigating complaints from customers that…

October 15, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of October 12th

Aries You should get out this week and mingle. You will ring the Eskimo to meet you at the station;…

October 14, 2008
Absurd World News

Stop Breast Cancer, Celebrate National Boob Cake Day

"That's Some Good Boob Cake!" October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, today October 10th is National Boob Cake Day. Make…

October 10, 2008
Absurd World News

How to Score with Nigerian Women - Without Really Trying

Courting rituals in Nigeria are so progressive. In the USA, you can barely get away with saying hi to a…

October 10, 2008
Absurd World News

Shakespeare Madlibs: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

This Madlib is based on an excerpt from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Let's make The Bard proud and modernize this Olde English…

October 8, 2008
Absurd World News

Supa-Man Lova: All Star Superman & Superman: Kryptonite TPB Reviews

When I was about 6 years old I had a Dad crafted fort in my back yard. It was basically…

October 7, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of October 5th

October 7, 2008
Absurd World News

Ex-Wife Attacks Man, Tears Testicular Artery

A man filed for restraining order against his ex-wife that he divorced 16 years ago.  After their divorce, they both…

October 6, 2008
Absurd World News

EMToast: Top 10 Zombie Sightings

To prepare for the upcoming Halloween celebrations, EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory…

October 3, 2008
Absurd World News

Toe Fu Interviews 30 Rock's Judah Friedlander

Our own Toe Fu's making a name for himself over at the-minusworld.com. He just scored a great interview with 30…

October 2, 2008
Absurd World News

Perverted Uncle Loves Smelling Nephew's Stinky Feet

A 15 yr old boy lives with his uncle, in the past year the uncle has been sexually harassing the…

October 1, 2008
Absurd World News

Weirdo Tells Neighbor's Wife to Tighten Love Muscle, Breastfeed

Fifty two year old weirdo has been eyeing his neighbor's 26 yr old hot wife who just had a baby. …

September 30, 2008
Absurd World News

Man Kicks Wife In Box, Threatens to Glue Her Shut

A woman filed for divorce claiming her husband forces her to have sex with him even when she does not…

September 29, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of September 27th

ARIES- People are going to hate your guts this week, and it might have something to do with the things…

September 29, 2008
Absurd World News

Perfume: Supersniffer Snuffs Senoritas

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. A movie about a creepy sniffling baby who grows up to be a creepy…

September 28, 2008
Absurd World News

Cormac McCarthy Madlibs: The Road

Using the definitions provided, and your imaginations, fill out the boxes below with the correct type of word. After that…

September 26, 2008
Absurd World News

Speed Racer Star Hospitalized After Attack

Fuzzles Of Speed Racer Fame and Clyde, Clint Eastwood's one time companion and star of Every Which Way But Loose,…

September 25, 2008
Absurd World News

Speed Racer Actor Soars to Fame; Defends Ninjas

Guys across the country are praising the new DVD/ Blu Ray release Speed Racer for it's colorful display action packed…

September 24, 2008
Absurd World News

Hoax Revealed: Clay Aiken Isn't Gay

Clay Aiken is   really  Lindsay Lohan

September 24, 2008
Absurd World News

Hasslehoff Arrested, Puppy Hostages Freed

HOLLYWOOD, CA - David Hasselhoff is at it again. In a stunt that shocked Knight Rider viewers and animal rights…

September 23, 2008
Absurd World News

TNA Impact! Wrestling Review aka How I Paralyzed My Baby Bro

There was a point in time that I was a total wrestling junkie. I can admit this with no shame…

September 23, 2008
Absurd World News

Economic or Cruel? Pet Food Alternatives Under Fire

CLEVELAND, OH- The effects of a sliding national economy are being felt around the world, with many middle and lower-class,…

September 22, 2008
Absurd World News

Husband Charged $65 for Sex With Wife

This couple has been married for 16 years and the husband is filing for divorce. He states that his wife…

September 22, 2008
Absurd World News

Ass Ponys: Favorite Albums We Forgot Existed

There are albums out there that we love. Albums we have listened to over and over again. Albums we have…

September 22, 2008
Absurd World News

Rapist Neighbor Got More Than He Bargained For

A man had been having the hots for his neighbor's young Vietnamese wife for a long time. One night he…

September 21, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of September 22nd

Aries You’re feeling lucky this week, well, you are not. Black tie events are in your future, don’t screw it…

September 21, 2008
Absurd World News

Nipple Pinching Teacher

A first grade teacher has been punishing the male students in her class by pinching their nipples. When a male…

September 20, 2008
Absurd World News

Upskirt Photographer Begs For His Life

This guy would go to bookstores and try to take pictures of women with his cell phone. He got caught…

September 19, 2008
Absurd World News

Doomsday Formula

Mix one parts 28 Days Later, one part Return of the Living Dead, one part Excalibur, and one part Escape…

September 19, 2008
Absurd World News

Man Duped Into Marriage By Aging Con-Artist

Three years ago a thirty-five year old man met a thirty-three year old woman online. They dated for a while,…

September 18, 2008
Absurd World News

EMToast: Top 5 Werewolf Sightings

EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5…

September 16, 2008
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for the Week of September 15th

Aries Your intestinal fortitude will be put to the test by weeks end. Fret not dear Aries those parasites can’t…

September 15, 2008
Curious Ideas

The Art of Looking Busy

Chances are if you work in an office environment you are always being watched to make sure you aren't surfing…

September 14, 2008
Absurd World News

How Master Chief earned his rank....

September 13, 2008
Curious Ideas

Listen Up, Then Listen Again

There are a lot of albums from 10-20 years ago that when I listen to now sound better to me…

September 12, 2008
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